I like to think of myself as someone with the strength to keep moving forward towards my goals and dreams even when obstacles obstruct my path. But on days like today I feel so weak. I keep crying when I’m left alone to my thoughts. I feel ridiculous for being upset. Its no one’s fault that things happen to alter plans. But its so difficult to find the hope through the hard spots. My fear overtakes me and the voices in my mind scream all of my insecurities, taunting me. I somehow have managed to still go to work. But every break and every moment of quiet its suffocating.
Mama keeps reminding me the majority of the strongest women in the Bible all had to wait for their dreams to come true. The faced challenges that could have broken them and yet they overcame and had incredible impacts. Head knowledge and heart knowledge though conflict for me. I know it with my entire being yet I’m struggling to keep the faith that I’m not alone. I’m struggling to see the light at the end of this tunnel.
Im floundering but I’m not yet drowning. I’ll get through this of course I always do but sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it.