Tomorrow evening at 6:30 pm I will walk down a small isle to say my vows and marry the man I love. All manner of sentimental thoughts have been running through my head this week. This post will be a brief glimpse of some of those thoughts.
This week I have cried at the littlest things never in true sorrow but often at small bittersweet moments. Moments such as holding my great grandmother’s bridal book from the 1930s, helping Mama with my handfasting cord which will feature my Papa’s agate cabochon which he wore as a bolo tie, going through all the pieces of jewelry my Oma made to pick one I will wear, and looking at photos of both sets of my grandparents with me remembering the love we shared. My Nana has not passed away but she could not come and so I will stand without any of them, the other 3 having passed away several years ago. Still their love will be with us, my grandmothers love Matthew (sometimes I thought more than me) and had my grandfathers had the opportunity I know they would have adored him as well.
Today includes cooking all my sides. Which I know is a crazy thing to decide but honestly I’m so far north that restaurants can’t make any of these to our standards. We’re having collard greens, cornbread, and corn casserole to accompany Barbecue. Sweet tea and RC will be our non alcohol drinks. I know some folks might judge us for having such an informal reception dinner but honestly it’s our style.
We are not formal or uptight. We want our wedding to be about joy and love not cow towing to tradition or expectations. I say that, however, some traditions were maintained. Matthew has not seen my wedding dress. My family also collaborated to do the traditional New, Old, Borrowed, and Blue items. New earrings and a blue bracelet from my brother’s domestic partner (she’ll marry him eventually when they’re ready), one of my great grandmother’s pins, I don’t know the plan for the borrowed item yet but I’m beyond happy with what they’ve done as it means the world to me.
At the end of the day all the little details which mean the world to me pale in significance to the point of tomorrow. For 12 years I have loved one person. From an awkward and obnoxious boy to a humble and hardworking man (who is still obnoxious) I have loved him through it all. Not many get to marry their childhood sweetheart but I do. I get to marry the boy I went to prom with, the young man I helped teach to drive, the man who works hard every single day to build our dream but always makes time for fun and hobbies. I’m so lucky and grateful to be his bride.
The nerves come and go but overall I cannot wait for what tomorrow brings and every day that comes after.