High School: Joy and Sorrow

High school, a roller coaster of time in my time. I managed to make it into Columbus High School. For those unfamiliar it is a fairly prestigious public school in the area. A magnet only school. You have to test to get in and its not an easy school. Freshman year was actually great. I felt like I was somewhere I belonged. I was surrounded by a variety of people who valued their education. I wasn’t bullied or ostracized for being me. I made some of the best friends I have ever had in my life that year. Friends I regret to say I grew apart from. I do think of them often and still love them from afar. I thought CHS was the best school ever. I was constantly challenged and excited about the curriculum. Because of my health getting more difficult at that time I was granted an elevator key, that I truly did need. It made me slightly cooler, I had people offer to carry my books for a lift. I rarely turned down the offer for help, even if I was capable. It felt nice to be liked. The next year started off similar. The classes of course were harder but I thought I could handle it. I took a few AP courses, didn’t score higher than a 3 on any of them but I enjoyed it. Unfortunately my health was still growing worse, most likely from the stress building up in my life. But that fall was also full of joy. There was this obnoxious boy who was constantly messaging me on Facebook. He wanted to go out with me and asked every day. I thought it was sweet of course but I was really worried about the age difference. He was my brother’s age, 2 years younger than me. That hadn’t worked out well the last time I dated a younger guy. Eventually I gave in and agreed to meet up and give him a chance. I will always be so glad that I did. He ended up being that special boy I had met 2 years prior. The quiet one. I think I’ll have to write a post about us and our story. Its far too long and special to cram into this post. We dated for a good long while, but things in my life grew very rocky and we couldn’t handle it all. That spring when I came back to school I was battling severe depression. My pain medication had grown useless. I was admittedly suicidal. My school counselor found out and demanded I go to the Bradley center, our local psychiatric hospital thing. They evaluated me and determined I was depressed but I would be okay with therapy. Thats when we began to butt heads, my counselor and I. It was also around the same time we found out Papa was basically dying. He had been in the hospital for a while but we all thought he would get better. My Nana moved in with us so that we could take care of her. Things steadily got worse. One day that counselor decided to call me up to her office. I assumed it was so we could work on my class schedule for the following year. While she did want to discuss my educational plans for the following year, it was not with the thought of me continuing at the school in mind. Nope, she pulled me into her office to say it would probably be in my best interest to consider other schooling options for my next 2 years of high school. Apparently my attendance reflected poorly on the school even though I had maintained good grades. I had heard rumors that this happened to students with difficult illnesses but I thought it was made up by the older students. Turns out it was accurate. If you have excessive absences even excused and a 504 plan you are pressured into leaving. They didn’t outright kick me out but I was made to believe I didn’t belong. Despite what my friends and even teachers told me, I gave into her suggestion. That week my Papa died. I had already been dumped earlier that month so I was in a vulnerable place emotionally. There was an event going on for prospective students at an online Charter School called Connections Academy. I went to the event and signed up. I wanted to get away again. I didn’t want to have others determine my worth, I wanted to figure that out myself. I left a big part of my heart behind when I walked away from CHS, mostly my friends and teachers. The ones who really loved me. I was so angry and hurt though at the time I didn’t want to be there anymore. The rest of the year passed with a gloomy feeling to it. I moved on to doing high school online. Honestly it was actually a great decision for me. It may have come about through great sorrow but I thrived. My friends from CHS kept me socializing and included me whenever they could. Funny enough January of that school year that special guy came back. We got back together. I was reluctant but also so happy. He was my best friend even more than my boyfriend. 10 years on and he’s still at my side. Things seemed to really be turning around in my life. I still struggled with my pain and such but I was able to work around it in a way that was best for me. It was flexible. I could also work at my own pace which I loved. I also started learning German that year. In the spring my best friend at the time got my boyfriend and I tickets to the CHS prom. I may harbor no love for the administration but I did adore my classmates. It was a blast. Summer passed and senior started. This was my favorite year although as Dickens said, “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” That year I was still in online school. I was able to really travel for once. I could do school whenever and wherever I wanted. Unfortunately in October O’pa fell, broke his hip, and developed a rapidly moving cancer. He fought as hard as he could but in January lost his battle. The snow apocalypse as it is remembered by Georgians, hit the week of his memorial service. It derailed plans a bit. It was a hard couple of months after that, I applied to Agnes Scott and graduated high school in the top 10 students in my class. I spent the summer doing so many things to get ready for that next adventure including auditioning for a music scholarship at Agnes. While I got into the school I didn’t get the scholarship. From that point on things really got better for a time, for the most part.

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