Yesterday I was on edge all day. I found everything irritating and got angry at the littlest things. It took ages of trying all the coping mechanisms I know except I forgot visualization. So when I remembered I started working through the exercise. It helped immensely. Of course it was amusing as I went along I realized my usual visual was going in a different direction. Below is what I wrote as I went along.
I’m laying in a field of soft grass. I can see the hazy blue mountains surrounding me in the distance. A breeze rolls through the dale, washing over me and cooling me in the warm summer sun. I close my eyes and breathe in the bright smells of grass and rich scents of the earth. In the stillness I can hear the faint rush of the river some distance away. The air stirs but I do not open my eyes. I have no need, I know who it is approaching without looking. His footfalls have weight to them and yet are gentle. His very being radiates strength and protection. I smile as his hair covered lips brush against my forehead. Finally I open my eyes to stare into the sky blue eyes that hold my heart.
Those eyes that brim with affection and an unmatched tenderness. I have looked into these eyes for over a decade and the love that I have seen there has never wavered and seems only to grow. As a teenager those eye appeared full of mischief and wonder. On the man before me those eye still hold mischief but now also hold wisdom and self-assurance. Thinking back to the moment I decided this was the person I would love for the rest of my life it was the eyes that called to me. That isn’t to say I do not love him in his entirety, because I absolutely do love him wholly. Rather, I mean that his eyes looked into my very soul and left a mark, a seal, however you might describe it, that made left me knowing no one else would take that place in my heart and in my life. I understood then that it wasn’t a silly and fleeting teenage crush. This was the love that has preceeded the great works by poets and musicians in time immeasurable. A love I thought to be a myth, and yet here it was before me encased in two beautiful sky blue orbs. Not a day has passed where I look into his eyes without feeling awed and comforted. To be loved so completely and unconditionally is a gift worth more than any riches in this world. This man is my Eglamour, meine Liebe, my partner in everything. To me he is these things and more and at the same time is undoubtedly his own man. Just as I am my own woman. We have the strength to stand on our own but together we are a force of will that will not be over powered.
He sits down beside side me in the grass. He never says a word. To me that silence is something I find beautiful about our relationship. We don’t have to talk sometimes, we can simply be in the moment with each other. Despite how it may sound it is not that we leave things unsaid nor that we lack in communication, but rather we can communicate without words. He truly knows me better than anyone many times even better than I know myself. So I lay back on the warm earth amidst the soft grass and bask in the peace and contentment I feel in such a beautiful place by the side of the love of my life.
After this visualization my entire mood shifted and settled into a state of calm.