This has been an intense and distressing week. Mama is in ICU with sepsis. Today they took fluid off of her foot in 3 places. Tomorrow they test to see if it has entered the bones. While I feel as though I am drowning in fear, anxiety, and loneliness I have been constantly reminded that I am by no means alone. My voice is not the only one crying out to God lifting up Mama. We, that is me, Daddy, and my brother, do not need to shoulder all the weight of this crisis. I never realized how much love and support my family has, because of my hermit nature.
I have come to realized I have been blessed beyond measure. I and my family are loved beyond understanding. When the world begins to crumble around you, you really get to see who really cares and how much. I’m still rather in awe of all the people who have reached out. Everyone who has sent me love, offered to be there for us in anyway we could need, and of course all of the masses of people who are praying for Mama and the rest of us.
This is the greatest blessing in my life. To know that love abounds. To know that when things get tough my loved ones rally and close ranks. There is a fierceness that flows through the bonds. When I felt at my wits end today and was ready to just curl up in bed and forget today ever happened, I always seemed to get message of encouragement and of love. It is the love of all these people both of my blood, by marriage, and by choice that helps me to stand back up. I may be physically alone trying to look after things but my heart is overfilled with people by my side.
Thank you to each and everyone of you who have reached out, said a prayer, and sent your loving energy. It is thanks to you I have faith that things will be okay. While I know in my head God will never leave me nor forsake me, it is through your actions I see this in my life. Thank you and know that I love you as much as you have loved me.