Anyone who is well acquainted with me knows my story. Born prematurely with birth defects and other issues that later defined themselves as chronic illnesses. I look at these struggles as briars and brambles crossing through my path. This blog is titled The Wandering Lane for a reason. When I try to put my view […]
Briars on the Lane Read More »
I know it has been a long time since I sat down and wrote anything. I haven’t felt like my thoughts were clear enough to put into words. I’m still not exactly sure what to say but I know the first step is just saying what is on my mind. In October I moved up
If I am being honest with myself the act of asking for help is perhaps the greatest of all my weaknesses. I do not understand why I struggle so much to do so. I know for certain that it is not because I believe I know all and am capable of doing everything myself. When
In the last 11 days I have attempted to write roughly 20 different posts. It feels as though I can’t find the right words to say what I’m thinking. Mom is still in the hospital. She has been in since the 3rd. She is also is still on the ventilator, this marks day 8. Daddy
Pain is such an abstract concept. People experience a broad range of pain in their lives. It is intertwined with living. I’ve long tried to put my pain into words or images. I cataloged my pain in diaries and journals reaching back as far into my past as my ability to write. Some days it
Some thoughts on pain Read More »
I haven’t felt the way I feel today in probably a decade. Went to the doctors office to get accommodation paperwork filled out for work. My primary care wasn’t available so I saw a Nurse Practitioner. Now I have been seening Ampiaw (my primary) for 10 years. She filled out the paperwork for my high
My mood swings are getting to be more frequent and more irrational. Last Monday we lost Flash, I morned all week. But even through the morning my moods would run wild. From blind rage to bottomless sorrow to pure mania driven spurts of functionality. I had joy and peace dabled in their as well. It
I woke up this morning and my chest was tight. I wanted to puke. I wanted to bawl. I opened my curtains to let in natural light. I saw the most heartbreaking scene I’ve seen in a long time. Sweet Precious was sitting on the hill, not unusual, but her posture was crumpled in. She
I’ve been lonely for a long time. I have absolutely hands down the most loving, supportive, compassionate friends a person could wish for, but I still struggle with feeling on my own. Not on my own in a good way at least. I’m good at independence, looking back I always have been. My weakness lies
Well this morning I posted about how I needed to take a step back and listen to my body. Of course I figured that I would start tomorrow. My body finally gave me essentially an ultimatum. The pain flared up to a 9, I ignored it. Then came a panic attack or what felt like